Overpacked, Overprepared, and Mentally Crapping It
- timandcloe
- Mar 19
- 5 min read
I read somewhere online that when preparing your “chemo bag”, there’s one rule above all: don’t use a favourite. Pick something you’d be perfectly happy to toss at the end of treatment - by then, it will inspire nothing but side-eyes and a few choice swear words.
Some ladies online had apparently learned this the hard way… I’m taking the hint -though it does conveniently justify a new favourite purchase. Hmm…
Rule #1: Don’t use a favourite. Choose something you’ll happily throw out when this is over.
But it does make sense, right? At the end of treatment, when it’s hopefully all said and done, you can just chuck the bag straight in the green bin - complete with a few well-placed middle fingers - and feel gloriously liberated, with no attachment whatsoever.
With that longed-for feeling in mind, I went out and bought the cheapest, blandest, utterly unremarkable nappy bag.
What? A nappy bag?
Well, my thought process was simple: nappy bags have so many pockets (and I do love a pocket with purpose). Plus, it will never have another role in our lives—no baby #2 (phew), no nostalgia… just a gloriously forgettable little vessel for surviving chemo.
So, the modern-day ‘Urban Parent Pack’ it is…
The Essentials: Comfort, Snacks, Entertainment & Sanity in a Bag
Here’s everything I think I might need to get through each session comfortably, stay entertained, and feel human.
Many of these items were gifted to me, and I am so grateful for every single one. I’ve also thrown in a few things I’ve heard are absolute lifesavers - little nuggets of wisdom from those who’ve gone before me.
If it’s in here, someone somewhere swears by it.
Preparing this bag has actually given me a welcome focus this past week.
You know the thrill: scrolling Pinterest, saving hundreds of aesthetically pleasing posts to your new board to make sure you’ve covered every possible scenario just in case (as if anyone’s tracking my bag contents mid-infusion: ‘No poncho? Early winter? Noted. Minus one point.’)🙄
But I have appreciated the distraction nonetheless.
Though packing it all has felt oddly like prepping a carry-on for a holiday - well, except the destination is an intravenous lounge, and your souvenirs are sick bags and post-cannula band-aids.
So anyway, this is my packing list:
Comfort & Warmth
Blanket – centres tend to be chilly, and the “cold cap” therapy adds to the shivers.
Socks and Uggs – comfort over shoes, and again, for warmth.
Satin scrunchie, cap and beanie – for before, during, and after the cap, especially as I start to molt more than usual. #italianheritageistoblame #thanksDad #eventhetoesurgh
Drinks & Snacks
Tetley’s extra-strong teabags – because there’s no other level of tea, and this is good for the soul.
Ginger tea – for nausea relief (and who doesn’t enjoy a trip to T2?). I also grabbed some candied ginger to munch on.
Water bottle with electrolytes – hydration is apparently key, so my veins don’t throw a tantrum mid-IV.
Light snacks – they will have food on hand, but a few crackers and protein shake sachets just in case. Tim’s also been cooking up a soup storm, so pumpkin soup is coming with me tomorrow too.
Personal Care
Sensitive lip balm
Gentle moisturisers – I’ve read that your skin can become dry and irritated, though someone close said their skin was the best it had ever been thanks to rapid cell turnover. Bring that side-effect on!
Hand sanitisers and masks – germs… nuff said.
Entertainment
Kindle – just finished Sarah J. Maas’ Court of Thorns and Roses series: fabulous fantasy, a little fae smut, and utterly absorbing. Now onto Throne of Glass.
Long-cabled charger – essential. Full stop.
AirPods
Laptop – for movies, TV series, MLB.TV, and of course, the daily quiz and Lovatt’s crossword.
Cards and games – for solitaire or competitive games with Tim (surely, I get a handicap given I’m going through this, right?).
Other Essentials
Journal & notebook – to track thoughts, feelings, symptoms, and questions for later.
Medications – anti-nausea, anti-reflux, steroids, painkillers, gastro stop, and a “concrete” pill (for when I need a bit of extra grit during a tricky session, which is really just a fancy word for chocolate).
Stress ball – sometimes the hands just need a punching bag, and maybe it’ll help with the neuropathy too.
Chemo Buddy & Home Prep
I also packed a small care bag for Tim, my numero uno chemo buddy:
Drinks and snacks (to prevent hangriness)
Headphones (no one needs to hear the West Ham highlights… or relegation lowlights... too soon?😬)
“Get Out of Jail Free” card – so whenever he needs a break, he can play the card without guilt and go for a walk, get some fresh air, or frequent the baked-goods counter in the café downstairs. Timmy's time out.
Purely for my amusement: a list of words he has to sneak into conversations with the wonderful staff at the centre. Oh, I cannot wait to see how he shoehorns “pineapple” into casual conversation without them thinking he’s lost the plot.
If he can casually work “pineapple” into a conversation with the Breast Cancer Care nurses, that man deserves a medal.
On my hallway console, I’ve placed a newly gifted sage candle to light whenever I’m home - to cleanse the shit out of this bad luck.
Once burned through, it then becomes a self-watering flowerpot. How cool, right? A symbol of new beginnings and perhaps a subtle nod to my black-thumbed tendencies. I’m still deciding whether to grow everlastings (for continued health), succulents (for resilience), or cacti (because, after all this, I might be a little spicier… and hopefully only a prick in the plant sense!).
I’ve also compiled a small tub of items for home - things I might need on hand, and others that need to be ready at a moment’s notice: a plastic bucket, gloves, hospital-grade cleaner, paper towels, a thermometer, pre-made electrolyte drinks, an ultra-soft toothbrush, toothpaste, medicated mouthwash, my own separate washing basket to avoid cross-contamination… and a bedside bell (actually, that one’s a lie - my voice carries just fine).
Ready, Set, Chemotherapy
So that's it. I’m well overpacked, overprepared, and physically ready for tomorrow’s first cycle.
Mentally? Well, that’s a slightly different story.
I’m scared of the unknown - of course - and of the tough days, absolutely. But I’m also ready to face this fight and start the road back to good health.
For me. For my family. For the end.
And for every small, ordinary, in-between moment that gets me there.
I’ll also keep you posted afterwards on what I actually used and needed, as well as full coverage of the bag’s funeral ceremony and how far Tim got with his word challenge. 🍍
Also, if you have any great series or movie recommendations, I’m all ears.
This blog is to allow me to write a little more about it along the way. Partly to keep friends and family updated, and partly because writing has always been how I make sense of things.
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